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Author Topic: The Invisible  (Read 53199 times)
sam11108
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« Reply #15 on: October 26, 2008, 02:29 PM »

oh yes pls continue..great story.. i wish i could write but i guess I have no imagination....lol
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GSRLOVER34
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« Reply #16 on: October 26, 2008, 03:47 PM »

great chapter! i think it starts going down hill from here, bring on the angst! lol
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csi_forever1
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« Reply #17 on: October 26, 2008, 05:02 PM »

Thank everyone! I'll probably post another one before the day's done. & by the ending of the week I'll probably start posting BRAND NEW chapters. Smiley

But I am TOTALLY loving these comments. Cheesy
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sixtyplus
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« Reply #18 on: October 26, 2008, 06:14 PM »

Cheesy Yay new chapter coming soon Cant Wait Cool
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csi_forever1
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« Reply #19 on: October 26, 2008, 08:18 PM »

& let the angst begin... Smiley (but keep the faith!)


Chapter 4:

               "Hey, my flight was cancelled so I just want to let you know that if I can't catch another flight I'll probably just catch a cab back to your place," Sara said into her cell phone as she walked with her suitcase out of the airport and sat outside on a nearby bench, "but anyway, I'll call you later, bye." she then closed her phone and contemplated on what to do next. It was only a five minute drive to Laura's house, which would end up being about a twenty minute walk, give or take a few minutes. And it would be sundown within the hour.

               Oh what the heck, Sara thought, walking it is. Sara then grabbed her purse and suitcase and began to walk along the side of the road to her mother's house. "Thank God for wheely suitcases," she said out into the open as she walked. Six minutes later, Sara was about a fourth of the way there when she heard a loud crack of thunder; thirty seconds later... it began to pour. "Just my luck." Sara said as she quickened her pace in hopes of reaching Laura's before she was completely drenched. Not more than two minutes later after the rain started to fall, the sky turned night-time dark; and the rain just kept falling. The only thing indicating to Sara of where she was, was the occasional street light along her way. After a total of ten minutes, Sara was just over half of the way there, and unfortunately, completely drenched as well as freezing.

               She heard a car slowly approaching and when she turned around and realized that she had been walking in the middle of the road. As the car slowed up right behind her, Sara made her way back onto the shoulder to allow the car to pass. She thought it was strange when it didn't. Sara looked over her shoulder and noticed the car tailgating her; which she became immediately suspicious about. She waved her arm in a gesture towards the car that said, "go ahead." But the car still kept it's steady two miles per hour speed-- directly behind her. Worried, and growing scared, Sara quickened her pace even more; as did the car. She slowly got faster as the car began to speed up right along with her; matching her speed every time. What this guy was doing, or planning on doing, Sara didn't intend on finding out. Sara finally had enough when she practically began jogging, as the car kept directly behind her every time. Suddenly, she heard a screech between tired and pavement as she turned to see the car coming at her, full speed. Dropping her suitcase and purse, Sara began to run for her life. She got about fifty yards when the car clipped her, and she tripped off of the road and into a small, but steep revene on it's side. After rolling for a good thirty yards, Sara tried to bring herself to her feet, but a sharp pain in her ankle begged her to stop. She collapsed after a few steps, wet, cold, exhausted, and scared out of her mind. Trying to crawl somewhere where her assailant wouldn't spot her. A few seconds later the sound of a car door slamming brought her attention back to the top of the revene, where a man was beginning to walk down towards her. He was carrying something with him; a bat, maybe. Adrenaline running through her body, Sara kept desperately trying to crawl to safety, yet with no avail. The man had spotted her through the pouring rain and was making his way towards her. She saw him approaching and tried her best to get herself up and run. Practically dragging her leg behind her, she began sobbing. Why? Why me? Why again? she thought. Slipping and falling, she began crawling through the mud. The man soon caught up to her, grabbed the back of her head, as well as a handful of hair, and jerked her head up to look at him. The sight of him made chills run through Sara's body."

               "Jason." she choked out. Jason raised his bat and swung, full force, down onto the back of Sara's shoulder. As she let out a scream of pain, she fell flat on her back and lay there for a moment, until she rolled over onto her front and tried her best to lift herself onto all fours.

               "Where the hell do you think you're going?" Jason said. He then kicked her hard in the stomach, smiling as another scream escaped her mouth. Sara was now crying with pain as she curled up into a ball. Soon another scream shook the night, but it was not from Sara.

               "Jason, stop it!"

               Emma. She must've drove with him, Sara thought. "Leave her alone!" she was crying and pleading with him.

               "Get back in the car now!" he screamed back to her.

               "No!" she continued, "Just stop this!"

               "Say one more word, and I'll knock ya lights out." he warned. Emma continued to cry as she sat herself on the ground and helplessly watched Sara lay on the ground. With leaving no time to spare, Jason quickly lifted his bat again, and targeted Sara's stomach. Hitting a little higher than planned, he heard bones break. Sara closed her eyes tight and let out a low, painful cry.

               "Please stop." She managed to cry out. Looking for Emma's eyes she pleaded with her as well. "Help me," Sara said.

               "I'm so sorry," Emma whispered to her through her tears. "I'm so sorry..." she kept repeating over again. Jason soon proceeded to kick her in the back numerous times; almost as if kicking a soccer ball. With each blow, Sara's cries got quieter and quieter. She was giving up. I can't do this anymore--But you have to fight--Just kill me already--No, you'll get through this--I'm too weak--Think of Gil. Sara then opened her eyes and tried one final time to crawl away. Tried, but then failed once Jason kicked her arm, causing her upper body to collapse back onto the ground. You could hear her fear in every sob. Sara then rolled onto her back as she began to beg with him.

               "Jason. Please, just leave me alone." she whispered to him, her crying taking over.

               "You're kidding me, right?" he said, "What did I say? All I told you was, 'don't push me.' But you did much more than that. You practically knocked me over and stepped on me,"

               "What are you talking about?" Sara questioned as she began to gasp for air; it was becoming harder and harder for her to breathe.

               "Don't play dumb with me you bitch. Remember saying this? 'I'll call the cops on you, yada yada,' Well I didn't think you had the guts to do it. But it sucks for you cause I spotted them on my doorstep while driving home and just kept on driving. And it sucks even more for you that I happened to find you. But don't worry. I won't kill you. I'll just knock you around a bit more, then leave you here to die.--Oh, wait. Then I guess I kind of am killing you then!" he laughed.

               "I don't know what you're talking about."

               "Shut up you lying bitch."

               "I didn't call cops--"

               "I said shut up!" he yelled as he kicked her under her chin; and hard. Sara was out cold; un-moving, and not breathing. Emma, still crying, crawled up to her and just looked at her limp body.

               "No!" she cried out as she rose to her feet, facing Jason. "You killed her!" she cried.


Don't worry everyone. Just remember, I only do happy endings. Smiley
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dyneemo
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« Reply #20 on: October 26, 2008, 09:40 PM »

You know, I am trying to be patient but I think you are toying with our brains. OUR BRAINS! Gosh knows mine cannot use too much toying with....

Do you know those movies you watch when you get the suspense butterflies in your stomach that just start gnawing threw the skin? Well, that is how I feel right now  Embarrassed

Great story; I can't stand that Jason guy.

I think it is amazing how we can take letters to form words and create an entire story that comes to life with the eyes of our readers.

Can't wait for you to update!
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"OUR FINGERPRINTS CANNOT BE ERASED FROM THE LIVES OF THOSE WE HAVE TOUCHED"-
sam11108
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« Reply #21 on: October 26, 2008, 10:04 PM »

yeah that Jason needs to watch out...I haven't read your story before but Grissom needs to come take care of him...
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GSRLOVER34
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« Reply #22 on: October 26, 2008, 10:05 PM »

what a way to leave this chapter! she cant be dead, i hate Jason, i dare him do that to Sara, he better pay for what he has done! great chapter,ud asap and we might forgive you! lol
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RusCSI
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« Reply #23 on: October 27, 2008, 04:02 AM »

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHGGG! It's one of moments I like here at least it's so sad!!! Update soon Cheesy
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?We must always have old memories and young hope?
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sixtyplus
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« Reply #24 on: October 27, 2008, 02:43 PM »

Nearly caught up to where you wher so cruely cut off please continue soon. Huh Lips sealed
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csi_forever1
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« Reply #25 on: October 27, 2008, 07:41 PM »

Chapter 5:
   "Shut up, Emma." he said as he finally began to realize what he had done. "Now, help me hide her body." he said. Emma simply looked up at him in disbelief.

   "What?" she whispered.

   "Either help me, or I'll do it myself, and stick you there with her!" he threatened. Emma began crying again as he grabbed Sara's feet and began to drag her into the woods. "Get your @ss over here and grab her arms." Emma slowly made her way to Sara, and grabbed her arms. As she helped Jason pull her body, her crying got more hysterical.

   "I'm so sorry." Emma kept on whispering. After about five minutes they came upon a large, old abandoned well; about seven feet in diameter. Jason dropped Sara's legs, walked over to it, and looked down into it. He then began to laugh,

   "How funny," he said, glancing into the hole. Looking at Emma, he began to explain. "When we were growing up I told her that I'd hide her body in this exact well if she ever mad me mad. I like how I kept me word..." he said, laughing some more. "Now, bring her here."

   "No, Jason please--"

   "Shut up or I'll kill you too!"

   Just then a loud roar of thunder shook the ground. Emma obeyed. She grabbed Sara's legs and struggled to drag her to the edge of the well. Jason then proceeded to lift Sara up, and simply drop her. After an approximate twenty foot drop. Sara landed in the empty well; hard. There was about three inches of water in the large well. She laid on her back, un-moving, and assumed dead. "Let's get out of here."

   "Jason," Emma choked out. "can you please let me say goodbye?"

   "Hurry up, I'm going to the car."

   Emma cautiously looked into the well and hated the sight she saw. Sara's mangled body lay face up; a leg visibly broken as well as an arm perhaps; she was covered in layers of mud mixed with blood. "Oh, Sara. This is all my fault." She began, "It should be me in that well; not you." Unbeknownst to Emma, Sara soon opened her eyes slightly. She was alive; and could hear someone talking. "When you left after saying goodbye, I overheard your conversation with Jason."

   What's going on? Sara thought, Where am I?

   "You said that you'd call the cops on him, and since you were leaving and he didn't know that, it gave me an idea."

   Why can't I move? What's wrong with me?!

   "So when your flight was supposed to have taken off, I placed an anonymous call to the cops about Jason and all those things that he had done. You know? Maybe get him put in jail for a little while.

   Emma, is that you?

   "But I thought we'd be home before the cops would arrive. He saw them standing on our porch and freaked out on me, so I did what I thought would be smart."

   Emma, what's going on?

   "I told him that it was probably you. I thought that maybe he'd go to your mom's house and discover you gone, so he wouldn't find you. And hopefully before he would find you in Vegas, the cops would have gotten a hold of him."

   What are you talking about? What's wrong with me?

   "I never meant for any of this to happen. But one day when he's finally put away, I promise I'll leave him, I'll get away. Thank you for everything. I'm sorry, Sara."

   Why can't I move? Emma!

   Emma then got up and left Sara alone, walking back to Jason in his car.

   "Emma," Sara miraculously managed to whisper. But Emma was gone. Sara was now all alone, and would die very soon if no one found her. She had to think, and fast. With her last bit of strength she had, she reached down into her pocket, and found her cell phone! Pulling it out, she called the first person she could think of, and held the phone up to her ear. Everything she was doing was a struggle. The call went straight to voicemail.

   "Hi, you've reached Gil Grissom, I'm not here at the moment..."

   Damn, Sara cursed herself. She then began to cry softly. She was going to die, and there was nothing she could do. But the sound of the beep at the end of the message captured her attention. She tried her best to talk.

   "Gil--" her first attempt at talking was cut short; she began coughing fiercely. With her voice barely above a whisper, she tried again. "Gil, help." she then coughed again. "Help. Well. Hurt." Sara could only stammer out small one-syllable words. At this point, even that was hard to do. "Please help. Gil. I need you." Sara's coughing became worse, as she started feeling dizzy and lightheaded. "I love you," were the last words she said before she lost consciousness for a final time, dropping the phone.



This is all I'll be getting in until probably tomorrow. I just typed up two projects and I still have a test to study for! Tomorrow, I'll probably put up 2-3 chapters to make up for the lack of chapter-posting today!
& thanks SO MUCH for all the comments/reveiws everyone! They mean so much to me! & get me pumped for more writing. Cheesy
LOVE,
Shannon Smiley
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GSRLOVER34
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« Reply #26 on: October 27, 2008, 08:03 PM »

i hate that punk Jason! i hope Grissom gets her message soon, and i hope Sara will be ok, you need to ud asap, we need answers! lol btw, chapter was great!
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sam11108
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« Reply #27 on: October 27, 2008, 08:44 PM »

how terrible...I wonder what Grissom will do when he gets the message....great story
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RusCSI
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« Reply #28 on: October 27, 2008, 10:29 PM »

Yes, yes, yes, that's it! Aw, I cry but it's really my favorite moment here. Update soon, please, please, please!!!
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?We must always have old memories and young hope?
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Billyjorja
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« Reply #29 on: October 28, 2008, 06:48 AM »

Ooo that was good, please Gil save her.  This story is wonderful, please update when you are able.

Trish
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Trish
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